Former Miss America contestant relates to first openly gay titleholder
Posted: Sunday, August 7, 2016 8:00 pm
Throughout its 95 years, the Miss America Competition has reflected many social changes. At its heart, the competition is about choosing an American ideal, and that ideal has always been a moving target.
While the competition originally saw that ideal in the contestant who looked best in a bathing suit, these days it searches for the state representative most deserving of a scholarship.
Dozens of “firsts” dot the pageant’s history, with mileposts reached as the first Jewish, African-American and Native American winners were crowned. In recent years, other occasions have challenged expectations: Miss Kansas 2013 Theresa Vail was the first contestant to show tattoos in the swimsuit portion of the competition.
This year’s competition will have its own firsts, including Miss Missouri Erin O’Flaherty taking the stage as the first openly gay contestant.
While the LGBT community experienced what is perhaps its most historic triumph about a year ago with the full legalization of same-sex marriage in all 50 states, LBGT rights have been center stage this year largely due to North Carolina’s HB2 law. Signed into law in March by Gov. Pat McCrory, HB2, or the bathroom bill, requires that people use the bathroom that matches the gender on their birth certificate. Entertainers, celebrities and organizations have been fighting the bill, saying it restricts the rights of those who identify as transgender.
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When Erin O’Flaherty, 23, of St. Louis, Missouri, announced she is gay, it was the first such announcement from a Miss America contestant. But while O’Flaherty may be the first openly gay contestant, she’s certainly not the first gay contestant.
Trelynda Kerr, Miss Oklahoma 1983, of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, said the issue simply wasn’t talked about in previous years and that gay contestants competed in the pageant but just weren’t “out.”
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“Coming out was scary. But when I say it was scary, I don’t mean coming out was scary because it was ‘bad,’ or I was scared of the ramifications. It was just scary because of who I was as Miss Oklahoma,” Kerr said. “It was scary because of what I felt like I represented. It was this juxtaposition in my mind of that. Probably more than anything it was my mom — she is like the greatest mom ever — and I didn’t want to do anything that might cast a bad light on her or make her feel uncomfortable.”
Kerr had not yet come out in 1983, her year as Miss Oklahoma, which was the year that Vanessa Williams won the crown. Kerr said she loved pageants from a young age and began competing at about age 5. “I had been in that genre my whole life, it was something I grew up in and enjoyed and loved,” she said. “ I didn’t even really think about the whole gay thing at that time.”
Kerr explained there is a certain image and standard to maintain as a Miss America contestant, as at the end of the day you are being judged. She said she took good advice and lessons from the pageants while maintaining her own personality as much as possible.
“I would give the same advice to someone competing then as I would now: Listen to the people who are grooming you for the pageant with one ear open. Take in the stuff that matters to you. Take in the stuff that means something. Remember who you are and how you got there.”
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These days, Kerr works for a nonprofit fundraising and marketing company operating in Washington, D.C., and commutes from Rehoboth Beach when needed. Kerr married her wife, Kymmr Barker, at 11 a.m. on November 11, 2011 on the roof of their Washington, D.C., condo. The two met five years earlier at a bar in Crystal City, Virginia where Barker was bartending in 2006. Barker proposed to Kerr by writing in the sand in Rehoboth Beach.
Josh Randle, chief operating officer of the Miss America Organization, said the group has a history of empowering all young women.
“Miss America contestants continue to be the best and brightest in the country, and we proudly support each and every young woman who competes in our national program,” he continued in a statement.
The Miss New Jersey Education Foundation said recently in an email that it is honored to provide a platform for self-development and community engagement.
The organization addressed the significance of the first openly gay contestant saying, “We are supportive and inclusive of the many contestants and volunteers who have been, are, and will be part of our program; regardless of gender, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation. We support all contestants, including Miss Missouri, in being their true, authentic selves and having the best experience at a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, which is the Miss America Pageant.”
Kerr said that in her personal experience, there was some palpable pressure in the 1980s for contestants to fit a certain image. But ultimately, the person putting the most pressure on her to fit into a certain category was herself.
“You can’t fit everyone in a box, and that’s the biggest fallacy I would have found when I was going through it. I think sometimes Miss America thought they had a system and this is the system they can use from ten years ago, today. We’ve evolved. I think that’s really changed and they know that now and work with each individual winner every year,” Kerr said.
In June, O’Flaherty told ABC News that while she’s happy to be the first gay contestant, she hopes the focus will remain first and foremost on her platform of suicide prevention.
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“My focus of this year, I hope, will not be solely on my sexuality,” O’Flaherty said. “I’m excited to represent the Miss America organization, and I think what my message really is, is that I had dreams and goals and I was very scared at first to become who I am. But once I stepped into who I was is when I became most successful.”
Kerr said that upon learning about O’Flaherty’s crowning, she congratulated her through social media.
“Obviously this is one facet of Erin’s life — it’s a big facet — because of the fact that she’s the first. But it’s a facet of who she is that doesn’t really have much to do with competing. It’s like, when someone’s married or dating someone that’s not the only thing that’s important,” Kerr said.
“It’s important in this case especially because of our youth and kids that are bullied and of bullying and suicide and kids that don’t think there’s anybody like them,” she added. “In the pageant world, you think of pageant girls looking like beautiful models. And especially in Miss America, that’s not what it’s all about. It’s about healthy women that have goals and have aspirations that might be gay, might be straight, who’s somebody you can say, ‘That’s my role model!’”
http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/missamerica/former-miss-america-contestant-relates-to-first-openly-gay-titleholder/article_34fdec1a-5b5b-11e6-b5a7-637bb6398fe3.html
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